#he's fucked up so much shit in the past... idk 12 years

[chenziee]

me: i haven't posted any actual, new fics in a while... :(

my brain: oh we can post my yamato zine fics now

me: but i want the first fic posted on ao3 this year to be lawlu :((

my brain: okay but you need to actually write that first

me: but i still have a request and zine pieces to finish, that takes priority :(((

my brain: then write??

me:

me:

me: no 🖤

[deadtiredghost]

Tmnt facts that are canon cause i said so:

All Leo's are sci-fi fans of varying degrees of old sci-fi series/movies

But MM!Leo thinks the old movies are old and thus has no major franchise to obsess over, he is just big into any of the more modern movies of the genre: I'm thinking Interstellar, Blade Runner, idk many more. And then he started watching Final Space and eventually got into Futurama.

But he still would think the other Leo's are old and a bit lame for enjoying old anime so much.

All the Donnie's and Leo's are the musical fans, but that doesn't mean that Raph and Mikey can't enjoy a musical too! Especially 2003!Raph who grew up watching shit like high school musical and teen beach movie with Leo and Donnie.

The 2003 boys all teamed up to sit on Mikey and tape Mikey's mouth shut cause he would dramatically and badly sing the songs otherwise.

2018 crew are hard into Hamilton of course while 2012 have a knock off version of it that flopped but Mikey loves.

2003 have a musical version of Lost Boys and Faries that could possibly be comparable with some rap songs and some emotional ballads.

Bayverse and MM have batman while 2018 have a weird mixture of some irl media and some really obvious knock offs. 2012 has Wingnut and Silber sentry as comics to replace Marvel and DC in their universe and we all know how 2003 is on superheroes.

All the Mikey's are naturally talented at drawing apart from 2012 who's skills apparently just got transferred to literally every single one of his siblings.

2012!Mikey's writing looks like chickenscratch and his drawings are chaotic in an abstract art kinda way, while 12!Leo can draw anime, 12!Karai is decent at drawing anything reallt, 12!Donnie preffers skatching items and backgrounds rather than people and 12!Raph is the one who does art the most in the fam.

The 1987 turtles are stuck in 1987 and have been since 1987. They like crossovers for the change of pace but 87!Raph and 87!Donnie very much dislike how other turtles have treated them in the past so take any and ever chance to fuck with their alternates in retaliation, feigning innocence well enough that they keep getting away with blatantly insulting their iterations to their face.

Leo is the tea drinker in the family across iterations but most of the iterations don't drink coffee - rottmnt gets into coffee wars (sans Leo and Splinter) but other than that 2007!Donnie and Bayverse!Raph are the only rabid coffee drinkers.

most of the Donnies drink energy drinks if they want a caffeine boost - the nonbinaries and their Monster especially.

The MM kids aren't allowed coffee because Splinter read a watched of child-raising YouTube videos and banned it. Of course that doesn't stop them from sneaking out. MM!Donnie is trying to convince him to allow coffee while MM!Raph just sneaks in his energy drinks.

2003!Casey was convinced the turtles were adults for at LEAST the first month into their friendship.

The ampunt Mikey wears stickers is directly proportional to the amount of leeway Splinter gives him - with the used-to-be-human Splinters being more strict on not personalising his weapon while the used-to-be-rat Splinters such as MM gives the go ahead.

The outlines of this rule are 03!Splinter and 18!Splinter of course who have entirely different ways of handling their adhd child.

And then there is bayverse!Splinter who said fuck the stickers, yes of course my 15-year-old children can have tattoos.

(And yes I firmly believe they were 15 in the first movie, and I attribute their tattoos to Splinter not really seeing the harm in it, or caring much as long as it won't hurt them.)

18!Leo is biologically the eldest but no one knows this apart from Draxum who will never tell at this point. Splinter aged them based on size.

On the other hand, 03!Leo is the biological youngest but only Donnie knows this (science shit to find it out) and will never tell anyone because he found out that 03!Mikey hatched first and that information can never be allowed to get to the turtle in question.

2012 Casey is transfem but doesn't know it yet and 2018 Casey is what 12!Casey will look like at 20.

All Donnie's watch anime and all Mikey's watch horror movies - despite how much they may or may not scream at the horror movies.

07!Mikey sells art online and 07!Leo becomes a language tutor in their 20's. Ironic as 12!Raph attempts to sell art online but becomes too emotionally attached to his work and 12!Donnie attempts to tutor for a time but is a terrible teacher.

Leo is a basketball or baseball fan, Raph likes wrestling and basketball, Donnie will partake in basketball or volleyball and Mikey prefers dancing but is open to playing anything... just not watching.

Splinter always watched the tennis, becuase his grandmother did. Leo likes to put it on but doesn't like playing it.

Mikey will forever be confused why the others enjoy watching sport. This stemms from when he was 12 and trying to watch his cartoons and Splinter would always take control of the TV during the Olympics. Mikey is still very salty and has an agenda against the Olympics and any other big sports match on their communal TV.

All the Leo's before 2012 just didnt use the Internet or any electronics as a kid and thus struggles with electronics massively.

Conversely 2012 and 2018 Leo were both on tumblr as kids and read fanfic about Space Heros and Jupiter Jim respectively.

And in addition: Donnie was on the Internet far too much as a kid.

(12!Donnie will never tell but 12!Mikey befriending Chris Bradford on Facebook hit a bit too close to home.)

After Don, Raph is the best at mechanics, other than 18!Raph who is kinda shit at them.

Splinter taught all of the turtles first aid but Raph and Mikey are patched up the most by the other two, which leads to the other two being more confident and skilled at first aid.

Leo's first aid experience is very much similar to an army medic, using improvisation based on his prior knowledge without any of the proper hospital procedure while Donnie's is much more based on his research into medicine and thus much more clinical.

The outliers are the 18!kids cause Donnie finds biological shit kinda disgusting unless he HAS to do it.

And then there is the 87!turtles who don't really get hurt for longer than an episode's run time. Despite this every single one of them are able to accurately and skillfully carry out any medical procedure should the need arise becuase cartoon logic and convenience. It is a skill they have and its usually 87!Donnie ordering them about while 87!Raph plays nurse.

Mikey and Raph spray paint together sometimes in all iterations other than 87.

87!Mikey and 87!Leo have never kmowingly committed a crime.

Mikey looks up to Leo most out of his siblings, and Leo would look up to Mikey in turn if he could get over the jealousy towards his youngest brother.

There is not a single itteration where Leo doesn't sometimes kinda wish he could be more like Mikey - he has never voiced these feelings and hates that he feels this jealousy.

If you wake Leo up from sleeping he will be alert, a bit grumpy about it, but will never turn you away. He rarely gets a full good night's sleep anyways, ans becuase of this he is prime target to bother when he is awake... up until they turn 14 where Leo gets into the habit of pretending to be asleep so Mikey doesn't bother him and starts meditating until he falls asleep.

The prior headcannon excludes rottmnt and mutant mayhem.

Mikey starts bothering Donnie more and joins him in the lab late at night a lot.

If you dare to disturb Raph's beauty sleep you will get a pillow to the face and a shouting to at the least.

Everyone of the turtles loves Kung Fu Panda or whatever similar movie exists in their world. They won't admit it but its because Poe reminds them of Mikey.

Raph maintains that he doesn't like physical contact much to get out of hugging the sweaty humans in his life. He is actually fairly chill with hugs he just hates the feeling of sweat on his scales so much, and learnt that the hard way when Casey brought him in for a hug after a fight and he shoved him off and blustered a bit. But any of his siblings hugging him is fine, he only ever shoves them off out of annoyance.

Donnie is the least huggy turtle, but he will sometimes lean his full body weight on April - which is fine in most iterations but some cannot handle the weight, I'm looking at Bayverse.

If Mikey were a human he would be a borderline nudist when home and everyone who lived with him would complain about it.

Like [insert hair covering here] and a fluffy dressing gown from when he was 9 wrapped around the waist if you're lucky.

[jellybeanium124]

pathetic vent post lol

so the thursday before last, one of my coworkers told me she's quitting bc she got a job in the field she wants to have a career in. I was happy for her and told her so, but I also felt kind of sad, because she's a woman close in age to me and I've been thinking we could be friends if I wasn't technically her boss for a little while now. so finally near the end of our shifts (we were closing) I buck up and ask if her she'd want to exchange contact info and stay in touch and hang out after she left.

and y'all she looked so happy and excited to be asked that. absolutely 0 hints that her delighted response wasn't genuine. so she puts her number in my phone, and even takes a silly picture for the contact pic, and I send a test text and she responds to confirm it's her correct number.

on monday I text her about hanging out later in the week, with ideas. on tuesday I text her again, with new ideas if she didn't like my first ones. I didn't mean to double text two days in a row.

nothing.

I wait till yesterday and send her one last text, explaining that I really do wanna be friends, I am more chill outside of work and she's only seen Work Nina if that's what she's worried about, but that I don't wanna bother her.

it's been over 24 hours now, and nothing. part of me wonders if she changed her mind and blocked my number.

it's just really disheartening because I've had another person string me along and then not respond/continually cancel on me pretty recently. after my college friend group broke up thanks to the serial sexual predator (which is a whole nother story, dw he didn't do anything to me, in fact he refused to talk to me the first time we met when I introduced myself and tried to make polite small talk, and I realized several months later that he didn't engage with me at all because he didn't wanna fuck me 🙃) things have been kind of dire in the irl friends department and it's sad and pathetic and I thought finally here was a girl I really connected with, and she liked gossiping with me at work, and she seemed really really excited at the possibility of being real friends with me, and then nope... not a single response to any of my texts. zip nada zilch.

it's just hard... I was basically socially rejected by everyone in my film program at my uni, then I finally started to make friends at the jewish club and a serial predator with an apartment full of guns who sells stolen lego sets on ebay and does cocaine ruins that, and then I'm at work and now that I'm a manager I'm the boss of most people there and I wouldn't be close friends with most of them anyways and the one girl who I think I could be really close friends with fucking ghosts me after I was brave enough to ask if she'd wanna be friends. it's been like five straight years of rejection for me. I always had friends in k-12, I wasn't a "popular kid" but I was well liked among the venn diagram of gays, nerds, theater kids, and band kids and I had a lot of friends in high school. I don't fucking know what happened. and now I'm on meds that are finally giving me energy and happy chemicals so I wanna go out, I wanna do stuff, I wanna walk around, and I don't wanna be an apartment slug anymore but I don't have anyone to do anything with and there's only so much fun you can have by yourself. and I'm still too shy to go to a bar alone because I know I'll stand in the corner paralyzed by social anxiety. I'm trying bumble bff rn but I'm so shit at responding to people and I kinda hate myself for it and I'm trying to do better but I keep not responding to people for too long and yeah maybe my ex-coworker is stuck in that cycle too idk.

oh yeah and the whole past year of antisemitism makes everything worse because I'm deeply realistically afraid that any goyim I meet are going to be hateful hamasniks <3 so that's a fun lil bonus.

jesus man... idfk. it's just shitty. it's just fucking shitty.

[bunnygirl678]

Back at it again with another Reguri AU that I don't have time to write. So steal it please! Seriously feel free to write, draw, or use it to distract your mind enough to fall asleep (is that a thing other people do or am I just freaking weird)

-Red and Green are on their honeymoon in alola (duh) and they are doing a fun little couples battle with some of the alolan pokemon they've caught

-one of the tapu's sees them and wants to fuck with them cause they're unhinged (my 5 year old has rewatched the sun/moon anime like 15 times and i still can't remember which one does what)

-sends green back into time (note this is gonna be like dragon ball z time travel where it just created a new timeline or whatever)

-he gets transported midbattle with little red, but like not the championship and most of his pokemon haven't evolved yet

-Big!green is just like awwww you guys were so cute, little!red immediately realizes that somehow Green aged like 12 years in a flash and is obv confused, green explains that he was on vacay with his Red and got sent here somehow, let's go to the lab and see if gramps can help

-they travel to the lab or whatever, and the prof is immediately like "My dead son!" cause my hc is that green looks identical to his dad, and big!green is like nah sorry gramps it's just me from the future

-and they all talk and little!red is like, you aren't an asshole, anymore? and big!green like apologizes for little!green, and is like it may not seem like it but i know he cares about you, because big!green knows that during their journey he realized he had feelings for red, but like didn't want them so he just started being an asshole

-at some point daisy sees the ring and is like "oh you got married?! Whos the lucky lady anyone we know yet?" and big!green kinda like does an awkward quick glance at little!red, and is trying to figure out how to not out his past self because this isn't his secret to tell

-the prof is like 'oh holy shit you and red figured things out' cause he observes and figured it out when green was like 7 or something, and little!red is like wtf and big!green is like yeah but not for a while and then he gives little!red some training just cause what else are they going to do, plus little!red is having a crisis, cause he thinks his version of green hates him

-then it like flips to big!red's perspective and little!green shows up freaking out shouting for his red cause they were just together, and he see's big!red who is swole af and doesn't look that much like his red so he thinks his red has been kidnapped or something, and little!green goes absolutely feral, cause remember he has feelings for his red

-he's like i'll kill you, did you hurt him, where's red, and big!red is like this is the most adorable thing I've ever seen, and like big!green at one point had told him that he had feelings for Red when they were small but Red didn't really believe it until that moment, and also he's like hmmm green and i should adopt cause he's like high on honeymoon and little!green is such a cutie

-Big!Red is like i'm red, it's fine, little!green doesn't believe it until big!red brings up something that like only he would remember like they caught a caterpie together or something idk

-big!red goes and buys little!green some food and they kinda talk and little!green can't stop staring cause wow big!red looks so different, then he sees the wedding ring and is like devastated, and is trying not to cry or whatever and big!red is like able to read him like a book cause it's green even though it's little!green it's still green, and he like pulls out his phone and it's a photo from their wedding and little!green like short circuts cause he didn't even realize that was an option

-somehow they get to switch back and the other timeline red/green work out their issues quickly both with knowledge of the future and they start dating at like 14, cause 11 year olds don't date, and red never goes up the mountain except for the occasional week of training and green always goes with him and it's never angsty like the other timeline

-the alolan honeymooners are just glad to be together again and they finish their time in alola and red's like let's adopt and green's like whatever makes you happy

[scullysstrapblog]

So far I’m on season two, but already I’ve got a list of things I’d do if I owned the legal rights to OUAT.

In no particular order; this is that list:

1. Make SwanQueen canon.

2. Have Cora put her heart back in so she can be the mom that Regina deserves. (Definitely have Regina and Cora go to therapy though.)

3. Tf was all that Peter Pan/Neverland business. I get that that’s where we got Henry realizing Regina was actually trying to be a better person and that her past shouldn’t define her future, but like it was a dumb ark. So I’m getting rid of that.

4. In place of the Neverland ark, we’d see Regina and Emma exploring their relationship, Regina and Cora mending theirs, Henry would stop being a little shit. Maybe there’d be something silly and Emma and Regina would share TLK?

5. Snow and Regina would actively try to understand each other, Regina would explain what being married to the soggy raisin was like and snow would see that Regina wasn’t evil she was just hurting.

6. I’d get rid of Neal somehow, like I personally think that a 200+ year old getting a 17 year old pregnant is creepy. Even if he wasn’t in triple digits, he would’ve been around 27 if the show is to be believed and that’s still statutory r*pe in my opinion. Like yeah I get Henry needs to be born but maybe figure out a way to keep him from trying to win Emma back? Like he fucked up big time so, he’d definitely have to go.

7. Hook’s gay. No elaboration. He’s gay. Fight me.

8. Honestly the blue fairy meddled in so much and from what I’ve seen she’s 100% evil. So she’d definitely have to go.

9. Rumple and belle, I know a lot of people like this ship but tbh, it’s kinda icky. Like there’s definitely a Stockholm Syndrome type of thing going on. Idk. Maybe Rumple and Hook can get it on? Belle can be with Mulan.

10. The whole, “Regina’s soulmate has a lion tattoo.” thing? Weird but people change, so I’d explore that but with Tink admitting that people’s soulmates can change as the person evolves.

11. Emma’s tattoo would definitely be explained. Because we all deserved that story.

12. Zelena saw how Cora treated Regina when Rumple showed her Regina’s life so I’d say that she wouldn’t have held any resentment towards Regina. I honestly think the writers could’ve made a much better storyline for them.

13. Another thing, why’d they just send Ruby away? Like, she’s such a great character and they just tossed her aside. They could’ve come up with something better. Especially if she was gonna just pop back up at random times.

14. The Robin/Zelena thing also gave me the ick. So that’s out. That shouldn’t have even been a thing.

15. I liked the time travel thing but if I made Zelena and Regina have a better relationship then that wouldn’t have existed so I’d have to find another villain to make it happen. BLUE!! She’d totally do it.

16. Emma would totally fall through the portal, regina would follow her because “Ms. Swan when will you stop being an idiot?!”

17. Maybe rather than being thrown into one point in time we could see Emma and Regina navigate through different points in their life while trying to keep blue from messing things up?

18. I’d have liked to see a bit more of Henry exploring his role as author. Maybe he’d write the stories properly rather than having a biased story that portrays things as black and white. Idk, I’d just like to see the stories get written as they should have been rather than the way Issac (was that his name?) wrote them.

19. Snow and charming would definitely apologize to Maleficent for taking her child and forcing her to take on Emma’s darkness. Maybe I’d show Emma and Lily finding a spell or something to balance themselves so they wouldn’t be so messed up.

20. Dark Swan ark would definitely happen but it would totally be explored the way it should’ve been. It was the “Dark Swan” ark not the “Pity me Hook and Dark Swan” ark.

Honestly this is all I’ve got so far, if you guys want more I’ll definitely add more but I have to get further along in the show because currently this is all I can remember.

And if you have some things you’d like to add to this list, please do! I would love to see what you all think!

[livvyofthelake]

reading an ODD book at work. imagine being like hm i liked the one episode of this tv show i watched i should read the book (or. the first of the several books) it was based on because i don’t have time to watch a whole tv show (literally 2 seasons. there are 2 seasons and they aren’t even long seasons) and then the book is weird and the entire first half isn’t even about the titular guy from the tv show. i mean we finally got to him but this is literally halfway through

ok i typed all of that at work and then bestie coworker manager (she’s technically my manager but like not really so i’m not about to call her bestie manager she’s not that far above me. it’s complex) anyway she was getting stressed out about all the shit we had to get done so i got off my phone because like it really is that serious if we don’t do this stuff it’s not getting done and then the deeply annoying district people come and get mad even though it’s really not that serious it’s literally clothes. anyway. i know no one notices when i’m hashtag offline but just so you know i have been irregularly offline lately. for like the past month idk. because work is making me tireddd i’m literally about to morph into the hypothetical person from all those posts where people did marvel discourse like “well actually capitalism makes us so tired after work it’s only possible to consume media that doesn’t require the use of brain cells so actually you’re ableist and against the proletariat if you hate marvel” that’s about to be me if this continues. i’d actually choose something better than the mcu though. whatever the point is that work sucks and they don’t pay me enough but there are not enough jobs out there i find more tolerable that would pay much more so it’s hard to be motivated to get a Real Job. in this fucking economy 🙄. anyway i know no one has noticed or cared about me not posting but that’s my explanation. yes i was posting yesterday and the day before. i didn’t have work yesterday or the day before i was watching tv. also i’ve been Posting less because frankly lately all i want to talk or think about is those fucking shadowhunters and i don’t really like Posting about those fucking shadowhunters. i genuinely don’t like talking about things i really like to an audience of people that Don’t Get It. i also stopped posting about once upon a time when i realized there were people in my midst that knew what i was talking about. you might have watched three seasons of the same show as me and then given up when it got too cringe but you did NOT watch it the same way i did. which is the objectively correct way. and that’s all there is to say on the matter.

anyway yeah the book. there’s three parts each focused on a different character relevant to the story and part one was honestly confusing and bad and i considered quitting. the guy part one is about was genuinely just unlikeable which is not necessarily inherently bad i mean books can have unlikeable narrators and still be good but this guy was just not hitting and thank god his part was the shortest. and then part two was weird and disturbing but somewhat intriguing so i kept at it. the narrator of this part was a guy who just got out of prison after like 12 years for the rape and murder of a 15 year old girl. which sounds AWFUL but he didn’t do it and the facts of the case are misrepresented and it was like. deeply interesting to read his part even though i didn’t particularly enjoy it. might have enjoyed it more if i had thought this book would be about him and not my buddy will trent from the tv. do you guys watch will trent? neither do i. i saw one episode this spring and liked it so here we are. it’s sort of like a cop show if a cop show was kind of odd. it has all the markers of a cop show but something about it stops my brain from recognizing it as such idk. i am actually confused about why this michael character is in the show when um. the character in the book is like. a pedophile. and probably a serial killer. why does the guy from quantico play him in the show if he’s supposed to be a pedophile and serial killer? to be fair i do not know how this book ends. maybe the guy who just got out of prison really did do it all idk why should i know. anyway. part three just started and THIS part is finally about will and angie (my friends from the tv… from the one singular episode…) and they’re slayinggggg and EVERYTHING is coming together… the pieces are falling into place this could be huge!

[f0point5]

y/n’s best friend’s reactions and the messages from Lando are the perfect dichotomy of how I would be tempted to talk to her….. two v different tactics of calling homegirl out on being so .. idk the best way to phrase it.. pre-defensive??? The triple message to Lando at the end of their convo really said more about how she feels about max than anything else she’s said about him in the last like five chapters. When she lied about why she was “only going” on this date he breezed past the comment to ask for fucking chorizo I KNOW she was FUMING!!!!!! Like I could feel it in my bones that she wanted him to do or say something. Now though I’m worried that something inside her kinda snapped and she’s either gonna keep seeing metaphor and pushing the envelope until she gets a reaction from max OR she’s gonna go out of her way to pretend extra hard (harder than she usually does) that she doesn’t give a shit what max thinks of her and her love life. I have a lot of faith in you and where you’ll eventually take this plot I’m just gonna go ahead and beg you in advance that if there ends up being some kind of major miscommunication in the plot it has to be realistic !! Nothing grinds my gears worse than adults ruining their entire lives because of a miscommunication that even a 12 year old could solve on their own. Like I understand miscommunication tropes but sometimes they go so far that they defy very basic logic and I can’t watch y/n and max turn into complete idiots.. sorry that was definitely a personal preference rant - do what u gotta do it’s your story Lmao I’ve just been burned one too many times by fics that claim they’re about whole ass adults then have them act like 6 year olds for the sake of a plot point and I can’t see max doing that. I can kiiiiinda see y/n doing that but not unconsciously. She’d know what she was doing for sure.

No I 100000% get you. Nothing drives me crazier than people making whole life decisions based on the outcome of a conversation they never even had. Like, Y/N decides Max is in love with GP and takes a job in NYC and leaves without telling Max who then decides that the last 6 years meant nothing to her for no reason and they don’t talk until Lando locks them in a disused shopping container. Like, you two have shared everything for all these years be serious you’re not throwing that away over not even talking. I definitely see Max and Y/N being people that even if they’re dancing around the real conversation that they need to have, they’ll always be communicating with each other. I think that’s so much more true to the relationship they have and the people they are than freaking out and not talking to each other.

I think the thing with what Lando and her other friend were saying was their needling was fair but also to her it felt a little bit like a taunt. Because she has everyone in her life acting like she’s doing something a bit sideways by dating someone other than Max, acting like she owes him sensitivity around the issue, kind of hyping her up that there’s a big “caution” label on this situation and then she goes out of her way to be cautious and it turns out it wasn’t needed. I think it made her feel a bit stupid, almost like they’d hyped her that her love life was SO important to Max and it just wasn’t. So she’s like, please stop making me feel like this is a thing because it’s clearly not. And then similarly with Max, she was a bit like, I went out of my way to diminish this date/situation for your comfort, and it turns out you never cared in the first place. I think the whole thing just stung her ego a bit.

[imfrom-neptune]

Rambly brain dump

I’m probably venting actually idk

Maybe don’t read this I just need to put it somewhere

I don’t think I realized that all the shit that happened just genuinely wasn’t as funny as I thought it was

Like it was happening and I was like “lmao my dad broke in a window tryna get into my house”. But let’s be real. My dad broke in a window tryna get into my house. What?? That happened to me? I was supposed to go to a concert that night. I missed it because I was helping to clean up glass and keep my siblings entertained. My dad broke a window.

I freak out when cars pass by my window and get nervous when people knock in the door cause it reminds me of the night my dad had cops shine lights through our windows at 4am trying to see if we were home. And the stupidest thing is no, my mom wasn’t home. I was alone and I had to be brave and deal with that by myself. Because she stayed out with her boyfriend and was too much of a coward to come back and keep me safe.

I stayed up until 5am packing up and moving and leaving my entire life behind. I live in a little house with a tiny pull out bed and a toy box as a bedside table. I packed my shit up while my mom was throwing away my things and yelling at me for not being able to carry things that were too heavy. I still packed my things and I still ended up in this sad little house and I still left my safe place and I can’t ever go back. That home belongs to someone else. That place isn’t mine anymore.

And this doesn’t even only apply to things that happened during the divorce.

I had to have been like six at most, and my mom had my mouth tapped shut while I cried in a corner.

I’ve been locked out on my front porch at least three times. I was maybe 12.

My mom has been throwing out my things for years. It started with toys when I “misbehaved”, and now it’s things that actually matter to me. She broke into my fucking locker thing just to get into my personal stuff and throw it all away. And then she had the nerve to deny it. She threw away my art because she didn’t like it. She took away the apps I needed to make YouTube videos because she didn’t like them. Everything I’ve ever told her I liked, she’s always found a way to ruin.

When my parents found out I was queer they yelled at me about it for hours. Punished me for it. Told me I could tell anyone I wanted but no one would ever believe me. And y’know what? I told my Opa and he believed me. They’re probably half the reason I was so scared to tell him. But guess fucking what? They were wrong. And now they want me to believe they’re soooo supportive? Fuck that.

In 7th grade I was (for lack of a nicer way to say it-) very suicidal and I struggled slightly with hurting myself. Ofc I didn’t hurt myself in a way that mattered, I don’t even have scars anymore, but regardless. They found out about this, and punished me for that too. I literally wanted to be dead, thought I deserved it, and they grounded me for it. Didn’t help me at all. Just made me feel worse about it. I got myself clean and I made myself want to be alive again. They didn’t do anything for me.

I’ve been hit for things I shouldn’t have been. Sometimes I made the mistake of fighting back. I haven’t been hit since the divorce, cause y’know, they want me to like them. But I used to be hit all the time and I’m now realizing how scary that really is.

I’ve been threatened to have cops called on me. I’ve been threatened to be abandoned. I’ve been threatened to be killed.

I’ve been told straight up that my mother regrets me. Which is the funniest (or, maybe not funniest?) thing because I was literally unplanned. Though my mom refuses to admit it, I did the math, and my dad told me. We all know.

And I guess I just find it easier to play it like a joke. But it’s sorta hit me over the past two weeks that it actually affected me and I actually have problems because of it. It’s not funny. I may have had a childhood full of toys but I also had yelling outside my door at late night hours.

And I just played it as a joke because I didn’t know what else to do. Now it’s too late to be upset about it. It’s all happened and now I’ve gotta grow up and pretend it didn’t. I didn’t get the good parents. And I can’t do anything about it.

and it’s so scary cause if they can fake 20 years of love, what does that say about me? I’m both of them in one. I’m every bad thing they’ve done, put together. I’m a result of those mistakes. Am I designed to be as bad as they are? Cause I desperately want to be nothing like them.

I wish none of this ever happened to me. I remember too much and at the same find half of my memory is blank. I don’t know why I deserved this, and it makes it so hard to believe I didn’t. Why would such bad things happen to me if I didn’t deserve it? I did it all by myself for what reason?

[mattscoquette]

okay so hii my lovey !! its been so longgg did u miss me ? ive been lurking just no anons 💔

gonna do a long recap of my past few months pls enjoy 🤗

1. reunited with my babyyyy (🦕‼️🩷) its a bit on and off but bb if u see this sorry i never text you i lowk forget to reply or text first or sm but love u 😘

2. started a new school, its going well.. math sucks fucking dick and theres this boy CJ hes like.. when i tell you, a fucking NERD ‼️ tall af tho.. skinny, brown hair brown eyes glasses horrible fucking haircut and style, acne… i can fix him !!! please bro one damn chance

3. girl me too… strawberry lemonade flavor 🙂‍↕️💨🚬

4. lowkey been mad horny recently idk why but ive been master….ing (i cant say that word bro it icks me out foully.) like a lot.. do u guys do it like every day too or just me 😅

5. im not parasocial abt the triplets anymore , yippee soso good bc guys it was bad . but this doesnt mean i dont use cai or read the shit abt them 😂🙏

6. overall lifes funnn (i can feel the seasonal depression coming AWN strong)

7. saw sabrina same nite as u motherFUCKER why didnt we meet

8. do yall shave 🐱… bc i do but my friends dont and they all called me weird for it guys what am i doing wrong. i have a schedule and all.. wednesdays and sundays 🥰

9. if ur cai bot reqs r open text me gang i need some good ones fr

10. ive been doing my nails for a while but im starting to get really good at itt. i did this girls nails and she scammed me the fucking bitch !! she said she will give me 20 the next time she sees me (fast fwd literally the next day) no money… its been a month and half atp bitch pay tf up!! .. cunt wheres my cash???? but im gonna do my friends for 30 (she offered that much and insisted) whenever shes free and she will be paying upfront im not getting scammed again… bullshit

11. little confession… me and my bsf kiss daily (shes a girl guys) but we said no homo and stuff so yeah ummm next question 😹 (we are never beating the allegations)

12. i need to start working out bro fr.. like im bouncing back this summer and i mean it im taking charge this winter (this wont last past next week motiv. tips appreciated gango)

i think this is all for now thanks for reading ! 🩷 i will maybe be back… reply to as many or as little of my little questions in here as u want

shes baaackkk… welcoming home…

the greatest…. sexiest…. most wonderfulest…. horniest…. woman in your anons…

🌺

HI CUTIE I MISSED U!!!

1. omg im so glad u guys r fr my roman empire

2. omg he sounds cute get his number

3. STRAWBERRY LEMONADE IS SOOO GOOD

4. me too there’s prob something going on with the moon tbh

5. i’ve been stuck in this phase for years i fear there’s no way out

6. same </3

7. I KNOW I CANT BELIEVE IT :(

8. yes girl

9. my reqs are open but im rlly behind on them

10. omg yes girl get that bag

11. omfg rlly 😭😭 love that for u

12. girl same my biggest advice is motivation is a feeling. ur not gonna feel it everyday but u still gotta do it

[bluesregards]

So I have some thoughts about RvB

A few weeks ago I started watching Red vs Blue for the first time with some friends. I have/had been in the RT community since like 2010 or 2011? And just never watched more than some best of clips from youtube while in high school. I did know some spoilers from years of knowing people who are REALLY into the series. And here are my thoughts on some of the seasons.

Season 1: I would be blue team if Church would shut the fuck up. Donuts voice is so nice and Simmons is great! Sarge feels like every liberal old man I have known that doesnt know hes liberal. Tex just feels under and over sold at the same time? This was def made in 2003

Season 2: God damn it Church I thought you were gonna be gone for good. Damn it. Well at least you gave me Doc. Now him I love. I like his accent. O’Malley seems like an interesting concept but idk. tucker be less weird and I’d like you more.

Season 3: How much fucking weed did Burnie burns smoke to make this season what the hell. Why the hell is he english?? Andy is really edgy humor in the way a shit is.

Season 4: So Mpreg certainly wasn’t on my list of things I thought I’d see today.

Season 5:  Sister might be one of my fav people. I love confident people who are just so casual about their sex live. Blarg chicka honk honk might be the funniest thing they have ever written. Vic and Vic jr shut up

Season 6: GOD DAMN IT I HATE THE DIRECTORS ACCENT SO MUCH. Did that slut Agent Washington just hold a grudge so hard that he had to mangle souths corpse like that? you petty bitch I love it. Also I would kill a man for Delta

Season 7: Washington I like you but if Donut is really gone I’ll have to break your legs. Basketball Church might be the only Church I like.

Season 8: Church is out here just trying to download a gf huh. I will pay someone to stab the director. The Meta seems cool but I can’t place why I’m not 100% invested in him??

Season 9:  AGENT CAROLINA WILL YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TRY AND BREAK ME IN HALF. IM LITERALLY BEGGING. Caboose being a god for a second and that Platypus joke are my favorite things I’ve seen.

Season 10: Oh the Director is like the worst kind of wife guy ever huh. Carolina has mommy and daddy issues no wonder I’m attracted to her like a gnat. Wash feels more like comedic relief but its the past and hes younger so I’ll allow it. Hey Carolina yank me like you yanked Wash thou. The really oversold Frodo in the marketing material huh

Season 11: Oh god they gave Caboose depression and trauma now im sad. Wash and Tucker talking is great actually. Felix has little hips and it’s a touch hard to take him serious because I can see Miles shit eating grin(affectionate). Locus feels like if Maine could speak and didn’t have a batshit AI

Season 12: Im halfway through it. Will update.  Carolina putting people into pegging position immediately is my jam thou. I do like them actually making the reds and blues actually seem to grow up a little bit.

[kosi-annec]

[HAIKYUU!!] Season 3 episode 8

Fuck 8-4 that's too big of a gap, they need to score the next points or else they're not gonna catch up..

Suga idk if it's smart to tell the enemy team your next plan, but it seems to piss tendo off lol

AAA NO ITS USHI AGAIN- OH nvm thx you for messing that up hskshk

No. 10 on field, let's go hinata! Get us them points back. Oh hey this background character (idk wat his name is) is doing pretty good.

AH OOF that's gotta hurt sheesh.. BUT KEEP GOING HINATA DON'T STOP- oh wow even TENDO was fooled by that. I gotta appreciate the fact that hinata was actually thinking before he spiked cuz he's not working w kage

wait hinata let himself get hit in the face ON PURPOSE?? I mean, if it keeps the ball up ig

"he shows no sign of the talent or intelligence of those other players" ouch, but true lmao

Ok you two (ushi & hinata) stop trying to assert dominance HSKSHS

Ngl kage just jumping up and down in the corner looked so silly

HINATA GET AN ICE PACK IF YOU CAN TASTE BLOOD, wat is with the karasuno boys getting hurt these past few matches, 2 have been sent to the nurse and now lil tangerine is technically bleeding just not externally

Nice Suga forcing him into a receive. Oh shit they're gonna do it again, oH THEY GOT THE POINT! Tendo was so caught up in trying to read em he didn't act

KAGEYAMA BACK ON FIELD LEZGO!! Pft- "better watch the back of your head, squirt" god i love the eng dub

All of this build up for kage's serve is either gonna end really cool or really bad. OK it went well- holy cRAP KAGE?? He was all the way from the back tf??? HOLY SHIT and we're back let's go!!!

hhh come on crows, they can't let shiratorizawa get any further ahead of them

Ok eita up on field. Wait he's also a setter? Ngl I don't remember. Yknow that's fair from eita ig, cuz everyone has eyes on ushi and ig tendo if only for his amazing blocking style, so it's nice to get that attention on you, if for a lil bit

FUCK- NOOO 12-9 they're getting too close to 15 for comfort..

YES BEST OLDER SISTER! These kinds of situations is exactly why there's cheer squads n shit. When the team is starting to feel down it's the audience's job to lift their spirits up, to let them know that someone believes in them

?? Is that a fucking anthem shiratorizawa's audience singing???

OK good save there tanaka, NOW JUST KEEP IT UP- omg OMG HINATA?? BLOCKED!? USHI!! holy crap LETZ GO THAT'S OUR TINY MIDDLE BLOCKER

Goshiki I thought you'd realize by now that no.10 ain't your average 1st year player, that tangerine is a monster

Aw kage basically telling kazuhito (finally learnt bg char's name) not to worry too much on how he plays

TADASHI GIVE US A GOOD SERVE! Yesss he's so confident in his abilities now, he's grown so much

CRAP nooo the crow's pinch server is out now- wait what?? OH goshiki touched the net. NVM THEN KEEP GOING TADASHI!!

Tbf kazuhito's the one that got hit and he's not used to the power behind ushi's spikes. aaAAA OK THAT'S OK BG GUY, you got a point that's all that matters right now

HSKHSJS OMG KAGE'S GROWN SO MUCH, he's literally adjusting himself to suit the spiker

YESSS the stress is getting to them, shiratorizawa's making mistakes, and by shiratorizawa i mean goshiki

Damn, that.. actually really sweet of ushi, cuz that man only says shit if he believes it, and goshiki needed that

GIVE US ANOTHER TADASHI- Ah fuck, and there goes the streak

FUCK, aaagh i thought he was gonna do a strong hit, ok so goshiki's not as reckless as i thought

14-13 COME ON KARASUNO!! YES OMG 14-14 JUST ONE MORE POINT, YOU GOT THIS CROWS

Ooh, old man flashback? Oof yeah that's the worse, where ppl deny you becuz you lack on something you don't have control over

Now back to present stress, JUST KEEP THE BALL UP CROWS! STOP HIS SPIKE- omg GOOD RECEIVE NOYA

I do find it interesting that the choice of music for this final point is not like hype or something loud, but more emotional and hopeful sounding. Idk im not a musician

FUCK NO! AHH they can't do another deuce again they HAVE to get the next 2 points..

Oh shit, coach?? Well, he's a man of few words, but those words are enough to light their fire again

Yachi?? wait- WAIT OMG IS HE BACK?? OMG TSUKI'S BACK!! THE CAVALRY IS HERE LEZGO

[silviakundera]

Perfect Marriage Revenge 11

Evil step mommy as actual supervillian confirmed. This actress deserves some special award, idk what it is but let's make one up and give it to her asap. She's glorious. Transcendent!

lmaooooooooo forever. She kidnapped that Sun Jin artist. So he wasn't mentioned 100x in vain.

All of a sudden police just descend and have all of the evidence out of nowhere. Hilarious. No one is worried about these pesky details in an OTT melodrama. TBH I'm majorly disappointed that they didn't find a way to repurpose the school auditorium for that police station.

Finally we get the reveal that they're both reborn! I'm glad they didn't make us wait until the last episode. "How could I tell you that I'm the one who killed you?" Delicioussssssssss

Evil Brother continues to be not only that family member who is always a drag at parties, but also a really crap boyfriend of convenience and MOSTLY IMPORTANTLY still the absolute worst at buisness. I like that he's not just corrupt but absolutely shit at this. He's not even suave and calculated about operating a 'cost of doing business' lean mean lawsuit triggering machine. So messy. smfh

omg when it cuts to them having The Important Company Meeting and it's in a thinly disgused living room I LOVE THESE SET DESIGNERS. Yes DO THAT. Make that 10K budget work for you 👏 👏

I really was gonna shade grandma for planning to sit back for 2 years to see just how much her evil grandkid can manage to destroy the company, since, you know, construction of facilities that humans use lol. But then she actually admits she fucked up and feels guilty about ~losing her way.

You know, I even feel a lil sympathy for Evil Bro here because they straight up turned him over to the feds with no shame. Look you KNOW if the nice brother had been caught out, no one would have turned him over for prision times just like that. This is what happens when you make things awkward and unpleasant at family dinners from age 11 to 25.

Sadly, the reveal about his past with her in the 1st life was super underwhelming. Like, to the point where it undercuts the emotional core of the pairing for me. I really expected (assumed) that he was pining for her in the original timeline and had multiple brief encounters with her that were meaningful to him but she didn't pay mind to. So that he was torn up about her married to someone else. But this felt... kinda bland to me? He really liked her painting. But when he found out she was the painter he... nothing came of that. Then he's a dick to her at the gallery. And he kills them both in a car accident. Suddenly when he meets her reborn he realizes he's in love with her? 🤔 Sorry but WHEN? WHY? I'm not feeling it. If it was love at first sight, I'd want to feel that agony & longing in the flashbacks. If it wasn't... how, buddy? idgi. I mean, whatever. This is not a show to inspire deep thoughts and that's fine. It's just a pivotal moment that left me cold. alas.

I do like the mysterious fortune teller. THE POWER in their hands.

Of course there's a baby, which guarantees she at least won't die. Now in the finale either he'll be a tragic sacrifice to save her from the brother or bro will die to fulfill the 1 life. You know that reveal of his feelings origination left me cold because I'm not feeling super pressed about it. wow ML you really salted your game here. You have episode 12 to make up for it. tick tock!

[arcaeda]

toa anniversary munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: leon!

Pronouns: he/him mainly but they/them? also sick

Birthday (no year): aug 30th whats up my fellow virgos

Where are you from? What is your time zone?: i'm from good old virginia but ive lived in a few different state. i currently live in illinois (insert peace sign hand emoji here) i'm also central time! midwesterners make some noise

Roleplay experience: my first experience rping was when i was like 12 or so. i started off doing cringe ass rp in deviantart group chats (if anyone remembers those). i didn't start doing (cringey attempts) @ legit para rp until i was 15 or 16 where i used deviantart and tumblr interchangeably. i experimented with panfandom rp for a bit and then a little while after that i found toa!

Got any pets?: my two chihuahuas who are brothers bae and skippy! i post them in gen media sometimes (bae is the white one and skippy is the one that looks like a frito)

Favorite time of year: autumun girlies rise up

Some interests and things you like: video games and animanga, mostly. i like (mostly j)rpgs, visual novels/otome games and rogue-lites. i used to bingewatch 30 episode animes in one day when i was younger LMAO. nowadays i mostly just stick to reading manga with my favorite genres being shoujo & josei. i don't stick to the new anime seasons anymore so these are some oldies, but my favorite anime of the past would probably be kaitou saint tail and nana. the newest anime i've probably enjoyed and actually remember is akatsuki no yona.

Some funfacts & trivia about you: im gonna be real with you all im terrible @ sharing fun facts about myself. uhhhh idk i guess i've swallowed whole pennies and dimes before as a child. i also ate a whole tube of toothpaste on christmas day and puked it up later..... i ate a lot of weird shit as a kid apparently

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play?: uhhh most of my main interest in vidja games is fire emblem, but actively rn i play like mobage and rhythm games on the side. other big interest games for me would probably be the botw series (not neccesarily zelda overall but), persona 5, ffxiv a LOT in the past, hades…. i cannot think of anything else off the top of my head LOL

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: blaziken you are my favorite little guy. my favorite type is probably electric or ice though.

How did you get into Fire Emblem?: i saw fire emblem awakening at gamestop and remembering marth from smash bros decided to buy it

What Fire Emblem games have you played?: there are some i've only read the script for, but for actual games that i've played : geneaology, shadows of valentia, blazing blade, some of sacred stones, path of radiance and some of radiant dawn, awakening, conquest, three houses and engage!

First Fire Emblem game: awakening

Favorite Fire Emblem game: geneaology will stick with me in my heart until i die, but like i also really did enjoy engage. she's climbing up there boys

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳: SIGURD FIRE EMBLEM I AM BEGGING YOU I WILL BE YOUR DOG BARK BARK WOOF WOOF

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays?

Awakening: chrom bc i didnt realize how s supports worked (though i did already like him when we married). my first marriage by choice was with lon'qu. i usually play f!robin, but if i do m!robin i marry cherche teehee

Three Houses: claude my beloved

Engage: alfred. hrk

Favorite Fire Emblem class: i fucking love mage knights so much. so glad engage brought them back

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class?: villager LMAOOOO but nah for real i think i would probably be a cleric, not by choice but because it would be the only thing i excel @ in universe. (my ass weak as hell)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation?: golden deer rePRESENT WOOOOOO

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with?: sigurd for completely totally normal reasons. marth if you forced me to choose someone else

How did you find TOA?: on twitter! and i am so glad i decided to apply hehe

Current TOA muses: veyle and caeda!

Who was your first TOA muse?: sigurd! i wrote him here for around two years i think, but i also had prior experience writing him before toa teehee

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards?: i definitely think i gravitate towards the parental figure therapist type.

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most?: i love writing idiots who mean well the most i think (looks at sigurd and my very old tormod muse)

Favorite TOA-related memory: everyone swapping and trading letters of their mun name in the discord server. also anything 0 days since our last food discourse related

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔: toe-uh! since the day i was born

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day that you’d like to share? 😉: (barking and growling at you) i am thinking of bringing back timerra after i recover from top surg tho.

[xilianx]

AO3 ASK GAME DO THEM ALL DO THEM ALL NEOW ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 (pls)

I AM...SO LATE AHHHH IM FINALLY GETTING THROUGH THESE I'M SO SORRY!!!

Just saw these 20 Questions for Fic Writers and decided I wanted to do it so ....... here it is! Lmao.

How many works do you have on AO3?

20!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

513,741 words…oh lawd

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I’ve written for Godzilla in the past but now I write just for Bayonetta! More will come eventually…if my hyperfixation can be dethroned lol

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Witch of Causality (Bayonetta 3 reimaging/re-work)

Some Words Left Unsaid (AncientBayonetta AU where shit almost went reaaaaally bad for BayoJeanne)

Down By The Red Poppies (Sequel fic to “Where the Lobelia Would Grow, more Bayonetta AU)

Where The Lobelia Would Grow (First ever fic I wrote for the Bayonetta fandom!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to at least. I love getting comments on my fics (i mean, what fic author doesn’t???) And I love all the support that’s given and the fact someone takes time to leave me a comment, long or short, just makes my day 😭😭 I’m sorry to those who comment that I hadn’t replied too or haven’t too yet. I promise you I appreciate them so much ❤️

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooooooo….I wanna say either ‘Vessel’ or ‘Forgotten Visage’. Both have pretty harsh endings that only insulate that it leads to more pain later. ‘Vessel’ is just straight up a Soulsbourne boss style fight with all the tragedy of a Soulsbourne boss fight tied in, and ‘Forgotten Visage’ is just sad AU of what evil Balder was doing right after Rosa died…so yay, they don’t go anywhere sad. BUT IF I HAD TO CHOOSE….I’m gonna throw it at Vessel lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Idk if I’m gonna get some hate from certain oomfs from this, but I’m gonna say ‘Down By The Red Poppies’ has one of the happiest BECAUSE of everything that had happened to all the characters throughout the fic (And even the first fic!) and making it in the end. There was def a lot of hurt and pain and angst throughout Lobelia and Poppies, but I think the ending the fic made it all the worthwhile and despite the pain/tragedy, it’s gonna be okay 🥲

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, not really. Not that I’ve ever seen!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written smut ONCE!...It was the last half of one chapter out of a 117,000 word fic…HAVE I ATTEMPTED TO WRITE MORE SMUT SINCE, YES AND I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FINISH IT YET!! The smut in Red Poppies was my first ever smut and it was, like, tender and sweet?? But the Balrosa smut that I have a low simmer is def meant to embarrass that fucking twink lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven’t, and don’t plan to!! Not my thing, to read or write.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so, not that I am aware of…

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Another one that’s; if any of them are, I’m not aware of it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I haven’t done anything like that yet! Would be cool to do it, if given he chance!!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

YOU ALREADY KNOW!!! BRING EM OUT, TOMMY:

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ohhhhhh hohohho hahaahah AHAHAHAHAAHAHAA!!! There’s so many lmao I have so many that are stuffed in folders and forgotten about. There’s a few multi-chapter ideas I wanted to try and do, but with Witch of Causality going on rn (and going on for awhile now) I doubt I’ll ever start them for long long time… (Chinese BayoJeanne AU fic based off of Causality, etc).

But if there is a KING of unfinished WIPS…it’s my now long forgotten Godzilla Final Wars fics from years prior. Sucks because I got to fic 3 out of the trilogy, but I’m just not in it anymore…wish I had the willpower to finish it, but alas, never will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Lots of my oomfs say all my fight scenes actually ‘feel’ like what Bayonetta fights, so I wanna say I write fight scenes pretty well!! I would say characterization, but I’m only comfortable with a few, not all…

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

looks at long list of comments and notes from my beta reader for the the insane amount of grammatical errors, structure errors, and sentences that just make no sense uhhh….so yeah, I kinda fuck up the actual writing aspect a lot asdjkasdsda

But seriously, I think sometimes (at least for recent, larger fics), I’ve had to pull back on the amount of filler that’s not necessary or structure of a chapter to make it actually make sense…(THANK YOU KELS FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT, YOU KEEP SAVING MY ASS!!)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think if you’re not super well-versed in the language, definitely consult or check with someone who knows!! Or do a bit of digging, especially if you plan on using quite a bit of it!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

GODZILLA!!! Funny enough, I have literally only ever written fics for the Godzilla fandom and Bayonetta fandom. I have read quite a bit for other fandoms, but Godzilla is my dear yee ol faithful!! (Funny enough, it’s specifically only for Godzilla Final Wars as well lol)

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

This one is actually hard…hmmm…It would have to be a tie between Lobelia/Red Poppies. I kinda put them in the same box, even tho they are 2 different fics. Honestly, it was just so fun coming in blind to a new fandom and just slapping together whatever I wanted to do because I really wanted to tell the story and had fun with it. I don’t even think it’s my best stuff, but damn nothing beats crashing into the Bayo fic community with a fic that just (spoilers) kills little Cereza in her own story and I have no regrets ASKJDSADHASDHA

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME IN THIS KELS!! I'm so late with this, and I feel like this has been tagged to other oomfs, so I will just leave this open to anyone who wants to do it!!

[forthelovelovelove]

Songs 10/28/2023

Is it good to post? To etherize. To become myself for a lovely pixel mystery front end i know so little about. Before my computer gets completely full of crumb dust I wanna blog some songs that I liked this month, I'll be a writer.

PAL - Safety Corridor

I'll start with one of the tens of albums I've listened to that came out this year, since I'm really really into new music. This is egg punk from Ohio and they have a great limited set of inputs - pleasing timbre dead pan vocalist, scraggily guitar, and bendy melodies. They use the first two of those here with their constant base and spare drums. It is a pleasing mix and something about this frank dick sucking song creates a believable erotic, dry as most truth is. The whole EP is good, I hope they make more stuff.

Razor - Speed Merchants

More discovery shit on my part, thrash metal isn't something I've explored too much but this album (Evil Invaders) rocks. Listening to this song just short of 40 years on feels like it agglomerates many disparate long-haired doer activities: rocking, gaming, being a tight end, drinking 12 beers. I do to feel like a speed merchant:

"Speed Merchants live for pleasure, Speed Merchants live for pain They live for understanding and sparks to start the flame"

Sounds like bipedal existence. My pain comes from loss of pleasure. Blah blah blah. Musically this shit is x-games rocking. It has that nice hook break down and then its all button mashing guitar strumming over a blast beat w ride smashing thrown in. Then there is real shredding in the middle... and it comes back, fuck the high pitched guitar turnaround goes soooo hard. Good shit Canada, idk much about Razor again, I thought this was going to be some valuable-only-for the album cover music, and it ended up being true mind expansion muzik. Look at some other album covers. LEGENDS!

Dynarec - Need The Teacher

Ok I looked up what dynarec means a couple weeks and it is something to do with running emulators and CPU usage on your comp. Could be totally wrong but I like that ok. Difficult to pick a song of this "User Input" album that's best, but this was one of my favorite. It has a nice detuning vibe and excellent cursed (not evil) toy box vibe, that talking synth melody that underlies the entire thing is a thing of distant beauty. Lovely! I listened to a lot of electro last month, and realized its a very strange genre often centered on elements I find have been done much much better in the development of hip-hop, techno, and other dance genres. But in this particular track there's idiosyncratic electro jamming!! Sweet.

2sdxrt3all - zack and cody

Ok I had to traverse forsaken urls to realize his name is phonetically dirtball, but I am a fried guy and thats why I'm still on soundcloud. This might not be the best example of dxrt3all, as there are songs where his adlibs almost argue with his main vocal track and show some of that beloved newness, but this beat! Oh loved that vibrato that comes in under the spooky high sine for the hook. The weight of "... he can't stop thinking about it" is intense, and admittedly, is a bit misleading of the manner dxrt talks about murder/robbery in most of his music. But he is a 17yr old ad lib master, and i recommend this song and then his discog (which I still need to explore). It's also cool he has a producer homie who he's almost exclusively linked with, there's still soul in the game! Hey I'm excited about a teenage SC head who isn't xavier (is he 20 yet?).

The Unlovables - I Want a Boy

Ok, seems like I'm bad at this shit, cause this is another consolation song from one of my most listened to albums of the past years. By that I mean there's a lot of good songs on this 2004 new york pop punk (power pop?) album. It is that pure candy muzik I fucking love, and I wonder if there's more like this to see. Still can't believe I missed that Everyone Asked About You show, but this song fucking rocks. I really want to cover it cause I think a version of this with 200+ bpm digital blast beats and overdriven synths instead of guitars would rock, the structure is so good. Unlovables have the best backing vocals, and all the musical cheese is liberated by the even cheesier lyrics. Perfect music, we should all get to feel immanence like this on a regular basis, sadly no one is as keen to soy as I am, and for that we will continue to burn. Hallie Bulleit is a really good vocalist.

Well let us hope that the world won't be completely fucked, and that it ends unnaturally instead of just being Joever. Americana should be perserved, global America needs to burn god damn. Hopefully I'll post more and that there will be initial and continued solutions in Gaza. Thanks

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

Season FUCKING 8 of Ninjago

(this was written a while ago I am now done with season 12)

So I have been emotionally demolished (big surprise there) because my favorite character, and please don’t behead me for this, was Garmadon. I’ve never really mentioned it before because I saw no need to, but gods.... I’m in physical pain.

Why is Garmadon my favorite character? (I swear this section matters)

Because I love the way the show handled his character, I love how even when he was evil even when he was infected with the Great Devourer's venom, he was clearly trying to be good, he played more of the role of an anti hero than a true utter villain in my personal opinion (the crew also said that was kinda the intention in the beginning so I’m not to far off base). He clearly cared about his son and his wife, with Lloyd seemingly knowing who his father was before he had even gotten the chance to meet his mother (I promise I will talk about Misako in this rant cause she does play into it) and Garmadon is shown doing pretty much nothing other than telling his son “I love you, you matter and please don’t be like me” in season one through till then end of season four and even in their short meeting in season five. 

Also it feels like the characters conveniently forget the fact that: isn’t the whole reason he’s evil because he was bit by the Great Devourer? The best comparison I can think of is blaming someone who was bit by a werewolf for becoming a werewolf, again not sure how else to put it. Also he’s shown doing a whole shit ton of good stuff before the evil like fully took over, like he fought multiple wars on the good side. 

But then after he’s like de-evil-fied he immediately becomes this really kind chill person (hm it’s almost like he was a fundamentally good person who got dealt a really bad hand) even swearing off fighting, only breaking that vow because his son is in danger. In fact after he’s turned not evil (idk man) he’s a really valuable member of the team who’s honestly a lot less reckless when it come to the ninja’s well beings, like seriously who left Wu in charge of these people, and even snapped at Wu when they got BLASTED OFF INTO SPACE. His redemption is rather slow with most of the ninja taking most of season three to truly warm up to him, even after they’re still clearly weary of him, which I freaking love btw.

Finally after multiple seasons of proving he is a better person, admitting past lies (such as the letter to Misako, which honestly if a letter was all it took to sway her one way or another I’m not really sure how loyal she truly is, but I digress), mending bonds and just generally doing things to prove himself a good person, then the ending of season four hits and he sacrifices himself in a final act selflessness to save everyone. And I’m sorry but the line “I had wanted to make the world in my image, but I realize I already have, in you.” To Lloyd as his last goodbye was just heart wrenching. His last goodbye was an act of selfless good and even after we see him in season five he’s not concerned about escaping he is concerned about his sons wellbeing. 

Why Harumi bringing him back makes me so upset.

So yeah that’s why I love Garmadon but why does it matter? Well because he died a good person. He died with people remembering his sacrifice as something good. Then Harumi brought him back, but not the Garmadon who loved his son more than anything, not the Garmadon who went through seasons of mending bonds, no she brought back the part of him entirely consumed with evil and hate, and it makes me so FUICKING mad!

Imagine you go through years of healing and change so you’ll be remembered not only for the evil you did but the good person you died as, only for someone to bring back the evil part of you to crush the image people had of you and wrecking the bonds you’d made leaving your memory utterly demolished and your family bond broken because some random girl decided she cared more about her own revenge and anger than the peace and good ending you had worked so hard to achieve.

Also the effect it’s going to have on Lloyd (Note I have not yet watched season 9 so take this as what I think would be the emotions he’d be feeling). His last true memories with his father were with the Garmadon who redeemed himself, it’s the person Lloyd considers to be his real father/the real Garmadon only for Harumi to bring back the man who Lloyd knows isn’t really his father only a hollow shell with his voice and snippets of memories. I can’t even imagine one how gut wrenchingly terrible it would feel to lose your parent only for someone to bring back what’s essentially an evil clone to destroy all the good that they had previously done.

Enough about Garmadon lets talk about season 8 (This section is far lighter)

This season was awesome! I loved most of the changes to the character designs and voices (apparently some people didn’t like the changes but honestly my only complaint has so be Kai’s hair color being kinda weird) it just felt like everyone’s voice actors were going so much harder this season, especially Zane, Cole and Nya’s like Nya’s voice and (let’s be honest) pretty bad hair cut was holding her back and since that all changed she’s honestly just so much cooler now! Also Zane switching from more human esq while in front of people while being robotic around his friends was just a fun rather personal touch, like it just felt like such a neat character quirk, like I just love to think of Zane not wanting to scare like younger children and stuff like that so he wears the more human appearance.  

I loved all the reveals of small character quirks, especially with Cole, like him apparently not liking public singing (do I smell possibilities for fanfiction) and being really good with kids, like that’s just so adorable. Also all of Cole and Zane’s little side quest was just more shipping fuel for me lol. I loved the Pixel reveal and it just feels so fitting for her to be samurai X like just way to fun!

Was the season perfect: no, but was it really freaking fun and enjoyable and depressing, yes yes it was! In conclusion this Lego show should not have this much of a hold over my emotions tbh, but I’m not gonna stop watch so ya know!